Relections
along the way
written portraits of randy & his journey
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
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We learn a lot from our moms. They teach us a host of useful skills and we love them for it. Think about it! With dads and other family members we learn about: love, values, beliefs, manners, character, culture, customs, hygiene, dress, food, music, heritage, holidays, math, science, and language. The list goes on. Moms teach their children lots of stuff. This tends to be a pretty universal trend around the world. They are important. They are influential. And, I know that on at least one occasion as an adult, my mom’s presence came to my rescue!!  My mom is not a big woman. She is short, small, and petite. Diminutive is a good way to describe her. She prefers quiet and order, not chaos and busyness. She doesn’t like the limelight. She would never be labelled as being gregarious, or aggressive. She’s a homebody. She travels only when necessary. She has flown in an airplane a few times, but she would not want to be a pilot - EVER, much less a fighter pilot. To look at her, you would certainly think that she was no match for a group of Saudi Arabian fighter pilots. But, you might want to think again. She had something that they did not.
My wife, Lisa, and I are very compatible. We have a lot in common. She is my other half. But, we are very different in how we “do” life. We are usually on the same page, and going the same direction. We are just not always going at the same speed.
Since Carr is our last name, we try to get as much mileage as possible out of using automobile analogies. A few years back, it dawned on me that one of us has the energy of a Toyota, while the other is like a top-fuel dragster. It is usually after my wife and I have gotten to know someone for a bit that the analogy spills out. It is not uncommon to hear me say, “To better understand Lisa and me, it might be helpful if I told you about the Dragster and the Toyota.” Strap yourself in. It might help you understand us better, as well. 
There are lots of things in our lives that have moving parts that need to be aligned together in order to function well. Vehicles, machines, instruments, beliefs, relationships, groups, and the human body are some examples of things that require alignment to work in concert together. Most car owners who have bought tires, have had them balanced. Then, at some point have been told that they should get an alignment, too. There are lots of good reasons for it. When steering is properly aligned, everything that is interrelated is affected. The wear is less. The life is longer. But, the most noticeable thing is that the car passes the “hands free test”. You know, that’s when you take your hands off the wheel and see if the car goes straight - as it is suppose to. When I think about it, alignment is one of those things that I take for granted. It's one of those dynamics that is most noticeable when there is misalignment - when things aren't quite right. I get a kick out of traveling to and flying out of airports. But, it may not be in the way you’d expect.
Spending hours in a long tube that resembles a mini Quonset hut - while sitting in an uncomfortable seat with hundreds of other people - doesn’t particularly excite me. Security lines, and milling around while waiting to board doesn’t float my boat either. What I love most is being forced to experience contrasts. Huh? Here’s what I mean. Fog!  Of all the weather conditions to drive in, I fear driving in fog the most. There’s something unnerving about driving when your visibility is really restricted. As visibility diminishes, concentration seems to automatically intensify. Your fingers tighten their grip on the steering wheel. Chatty conversation gets put on hold. Your focus narrows to the roadway that is just in front of your bumper. Not being able to see landmarks, or even the horizon, makes it easy to lose your bearings. The driving is intense. Prayer tends to be intense as well.  There was a 15 year period when we lived in a mountain community, and commuted to work in the valley below. The trip was 22 minutes each way. This included a 3,500' change in elevation. Portions of the road were perched on the side of the mountain – framed with guardrails. Each trip was a constant zig and zag. On a clear day, driving “the mountain” required attention. But, when driving in heavy fog at night, the stakes seem to ratchet up a few notches.
The radio wasn’t big. It was black, and about the size of a loaf of homemade bread. In fact, it was fairly typical for the 1960s – as both a clock and a radio. The left side was dominated by a clock - with hour and minute hands. There was also a sweeping second hand that never stopped. Then, on the right side, there was a dial that moved a sliding red marker up and down for tuning in stations. As far as radios go, its reception was average. Its function was utilitarian. Its look was basic. And, there was nothing special about it. But, for fueling the imagination of a young boy, it sure was powerful.  I know. Without really realizing it, I stared at that radio for hours on end. It was a window for me to see beyond my little world. It brought drama to my life, mostly in the form of sports. I loved hearing the story of a game unfold. I listened to professional baseball the most, but any sport, at any level, held my interest as the announcers brought the game to life. My mom liked to listen to the radio as well. In the evenings she would listen to a smattering of Christian programs. For the most part, she listened to music, but there was one half-hour program that mesmerized me. It drew me to the power of a life story. The program was simply called “Unshackled”.
 As a young boy, the idea of writing a book got deeply implanted in my mind by my dad. All throughout my childhood years, he would occasionally say something that he thought was noteworthy. Then, he would follow it with these exact words. “I need to write that in my book.” He said this with enough regularity through the years that it seemed plausible that he might actually have enough material to write a book. One expression that is forever lodged in my memory is “the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”. I had no doubt that he loved my mom. I heard it and saw it in action every day. My mom and dad supported each other. I knew they were on the same team. I grew up knowing that they loved each other, my brother, and me.  Another phrase that haunts me to this day is, “you can use anything of mine, just put it back where it belongs.” Ugh! I used to hate that one as a teenager, but I think you get the picture. Most of the time he said his quips jokingly. I think it was his way to “freeze-frame” the expression, so, it could be absorbed by someone else. But his main motivation always was to leave a spiritual trail map – for others. He wanted God’s wisdom and message of eternal hope and salvation that he had so vividly experienced at the age of twenty-nine to be transferred to others. In his mind, writing a book was an on-going way to transfer the things he’d learned to someone else. My dad passed away in 1982 at the age of 53.
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Randy CarrRandy is a life-purpose and legacy coach with a passion to help seniors be purposeful in retirement. He has a background in history, education, ministry, publishing, and crossing cultures. Randy's Story
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